I took ballet lessons as a young girl for a few years. When my parents saw that I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, they pulled me from it so I could focus more on my studies and books. I feel like that was the right move since I had lost interest in it, therefore, they did not need to spend more money on it.
Dance Moms is the antithesis of that idea. As the title should have suggested, this show is all about the moms of the girls in dancing class. I was hoping to see the girls’ talent coming through, and that did happen occasionally, but, as is the case with most reality TV, drama has to be inserted, or else the show would be boring.
To be honest, I don’t like reality TV because of the manufactured drama, but I thought I’d watch the first season to see if it was as bad as I thought.
It was worse than I expected. And this was just the first season.
Why Is It About the Moms?
The moms are with the girls for a small portion of their time in the dance room. In the Pittsburgh studio, the moms have a private room above the floor. There is a glass window where they can look down on the dancers and what else is happening in the room.
This idea is strange because the moms can’t listen to the lessons. If the girls are supposed to practice at home, the moms should learn the terms and moves to take notes or help the daughters with technique.
To make matters worse, some moms are really catty or want to stir up trouble for no reason. They pick on the girls doing better in the studio and make retorts that hurt the other moms.
Candy Apples, Rotten to the Core
In the first season, we are introduced to Cathy Nesbitt-Stein, who I thought was a little eccentric but soon realized was one of the worst moms in the group. She owns Candy Apples Studio, a small dance studio compared to the Abby Lee Dance Company.
When one of the moms turned forty, she insisted that all the moms get Botox. The women watched some of the others and then went to lunch. One of the women mentioned that she was surprised at how easy it was and that it wasn’t as painful as expected. Cathy muttered that she didn’t need Botox but insisted the others needed it.
She also made fun of one of the moms with the shape of her nose. That moment made me want to throw the remote through the TV. No one, no matter who they are or how many credentials they have, should not make fun of other’s appearances. I could tell that the other moms were shocked that she would say such a thing.
All Hail Queen Holly
My favorite mom was Holly Frazier, a woman studying for her doctorate and working full-time as a school principal. She had her commitments to outside activities and always prioritized herself and her academic work before the dance studio.
In one episode, Abby asked the moms to participate in a dance in the same show as their daughters, and Holly made it clear that she would be graduating on that day. The other moms chastised her for choosing her education over their dance.
Holly continually kept her head on her shoulders, dealing with the crap that the other moms threw around at each other. She would usually be one of the first ones after an outburst to check on one of the people and see if there was something she could do or usher the young girls out of the room while a fight was going down.
Abby Lee Miller, The Cherry On Top of the Dumpster Fire
The head instructor is Abby Lee Miller, and I have never seen a more antagonizing woman. She purposely stirred up the moms, occasionally punished them, and verbally battled them in almost every episode. She favored one of the girls, Maddie, far more than the others. When one of the girls requested more time to practice solos, Abby rejected her and said she needed to prove herself.
She was also responsible for picking out the girls’ outfits in group dances, ensuring they all had a standard to live up to. One group dance that had my blood boiling was where they had to dress up in skimpy turquoise and black clothes, with a song that was too raunchy for their age.
I need to state that these girls were between six and thirteen at the time of filming. They were MINORS, for crying out loud! As one of the moms put it, the girls were dressed up like “prostitots.” And they were performing for older judges with who knows who else was watching.
Will Someone Please Think of the Children?
To me, the victims in this show are the girls in the studio. They were forced to undergo immense pressure from not only Abby, but from their moms as well. When some of them started crying, the adults told them to suck it up and put on their best face for the judges. The other girls surrounded the one crying and hugged her, trying to make her feel better.
I hope that these girls now lead better lives as adults. If they are married, I hope they raise their children in a much gentler way than Abby demonstrated. There is a place in teaching for being strict, but there is also a place for being gentle. It takes a good person to know the balance and not hurt someone until they have problems later in life.
Here is where you can watch this show if you need to see it to believe it. Here is a YouTuber I have recently started watching with hilarious edits of the show.
About the Author
Olivia Lee is a recent college graduate passionate about gaming, reading, scrapbooking, and staying up to date with what’s on YouTube. She wants to build a positive community on YouTube and Twitch where other gamers can discuss the deeper meanings and have fun. She believes that all games are a form of rapidly growing storytelling and should be taken as seriously as books and shows.
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