Unhealthy Patterns of Behavior to Look Out for When Dating

In unhealthy relationships, one or both partners exhibit patterns that shouldn’t be ignored. The goal in any healthy relationship is that both partners respect each other. They should put each other first. When you put each other first, both sides feel loved and supported.

There’s a difference between someone having an off moment or a bad day, but when bad behavior happens consistently, it’s an unhealthy pattern. Toxic patterns are red flags that scream your relationship is about to be a train wreck. And the clock on the wall is signaling that it’s time for you to end the relationship.

5 Unhealthy Behavior Patterns

Disrespect

This is an immediate red flag. People disrespect you by not calling you back or taking an extremely long time to respond to your messages. They don’t prioritize you or treat you as important. They prioritize others above you. If their best friend calls them on their off-day to hang out, they’re there, while you’d both made plans to spend quality time together.

If they’re constantly speaking rudely to you, it’s an unhealthy behavioral pattern that may lead to manipulation and control. Being treated as unimportant or like a second thought is a sign you’re being disrespected, so you need to move on.

Jealousy

When your partner can’t stand to see you around others or restricts your other relationships, don’t walk, run. This unhealthy pattern may be a sign that you’re dealing with an insecure individual who feels threatened by your outside relationships. This person tries to make you feel guilty about having other relationships.

So, they mistreat you or give you the silent treatment as a way of controlling and manipulating you. Recognize this pattern as unhealthy behavior, and leave as soon as possible.

Blaming

Don’t let anyone play the blame game with you. Everything is your fault. You can never do anything right. You never do this, or you always do that. These unhealthy behavioral patterns are manipulation tools. Furthermore, they’re ways of gaslighting you to make you think you’re constantly wrong and can’t do anything right. Your partner, in the meantime, sits back and watches you squirm.

Soon, you begin walking on eggshells to get their approval to stay in the relationship.  However, the relationship isn’t healthy if you have low self-esteem. That’s letting others walk all over you, yet continuing to stand by their side. Do yourself a favor by getting out of the relationship and working on developing self-confidence.

Put-downs

When someone is always putting you down, it’s time to say goodbye. Snide remarks that often get categorized as “joking” are no laughing matter. When you’re the butt of their jokes or they say things like, “That’s so typical of you,” it’s unhealthy behavior. Recognize it immediately.  They may have deep-seated anger or trauma, causing them to take their rage out on you. Point them to the nearest psychotherapist and move to the closest exit.

Abuse

Abuse comes in many forms, and all the above behaviors can be classified as mental abuse. No abuse should be accepted long-term. But physical abuse is not to be accepted on any given day. Leave the relationship before it becomes a pattern. However, if shoving, hitting, slapping, or beating has become a behavioral pattern, you’re in danger of worse if you don’t leave.

If you feel threatened by this person or believe your life is at risk, reach out to a close friend, family member, or domestic abuse hotline near you. For your safety, the faster you get out, the better.

Put Yourself First

These are five unhealthy behavior patterns to watch out for, and there are others. Do your research and keep your eyes open to anything that doesn’t feel or look right. Don’t accept disrespect, jealousy, blame, put-downs, or physical abuse. Relationships should be loving and kind, not degrading and abusive.

Honor yourself by not allowing unhealthy patterns of behavior to creep into your relationship. Walk away. Hopefully, the other person gets help and heals from their brokenness. By doing so, you’ll not only be doing yourself a favor, but the abuser as well.