Marriage Myths That Lead to Divorce: Common Misbeliefs That Harm Relationships

English writer John Lyly said, “Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on earth.” Lyly’s quote is the antithesis of many marriage myths that lead to divorce. Social media-perfect couples and rom-coms have contributed to myths that marriage should be perfect, couples should always be holding hands, and they should never have disagreements.

But just like any other relationship lived here on earth, conflict will arise. It doesn’t mean it’s the end of the relationship, just that you and your spouse are human and still learning to figure things out as a couple.  Here are some marriage myths that can lead to divorce.

We’ll Never Fight

Many couples erroneously feel that if they truly love each other, they’ll always agree. So, at the first sign of disagreement, they think something must be wrong. Couples consist of two individuals with different opinions and beliefs that don’t always coincide. This is normal and natural. If you don’t think the same as your spouse, it’s okay. It’s a marriage myth that says you don’t love your partner if you disagree.

Disagreements should lead to discussion, allowing each person to share their thoughts and work towards a resolution. Don’t throw in the towel or contact a divorce lawyer. Talk through it. Try to compromise. If not, agree to disagree and move on. Focus on the things you enjoy and agree on.

We’ll Share the Same Interests

It’s rare for couples to have the same interests. We’re all unique individuals with our own personalities. Therefore, we have different interests that suit us. Our background and values also shape who we are, and they’re different for everyone. Zeroing in on what you don’t have in common will only cause division that could lead to divorce.

Celebrate what you do have in common and spend time enjoying those things together. Having the same interests is simply a marriage myth, not a reality.

We Should Be Make-up Ready at the Same Time

It’s not abnormal for two people in a relationship to have different temperaments. Divorce isn’t imminent because you get over things quickly while your spouse is still brooding. After an argument, it’s okay if one spouse needs more time to cool off. Everyone processes things differently. It’s a marriage myth that says marriage is over when one spouse returns to baseline long before the other one does.

Patience is needed in every relationship. Marriage is no different. Remove the unrealistic expectations that everything will flow smoothly each day. There will be some bumps in the road. But marriage consists of two adults who should know how to resolve issues intelligently. 

We’ll Be Together All the Time

It’s okay if you and your spouse are not together 24/7. Your spouse may occasionally want to spend time with friends who share the same interests. That’s not a request for a divorce. It’s a marriage myth that couples should always be together, and when you see one, you see the other. That may work with some couples, but it generally doesn’t work for all.

Because you’re two different people, there will be times when you’ll go in different directions. That doesn’t cancel your love for each other. At the end of the day, it makes being together again even more exciting. You’ll have new things to talk about and share.

My Spouse Should Be a Mindreader

A common marriage myth is that your spouse should be able to read your mind. The fact is, no one can read your mind. Many couples have headed to divorce court because this expectation wasn’t met. This is an unfair burden to put on your spouse. When something is on your mind, you must communicate it. Don’t expect your spouse to know it intuitively.

If your unspoken need wasn’t met, it’s unrealistic to blame your spouse. Your unspoken needs will never be met. If you feel you can’t trust your spouse with your desires, then that’s something to address with them or in therapy. It shouldn’t be an opportunity to cast blame.

We Should Be Close at All Times

The truth of the matter is, there are times when you may not need a close-up. Once the honeymoon phase is over and you settle into real life, you’re still in love. But the need to be joined at the hip at every waking moment may not be as strong. It’s perfectly fine. There are times when you’ll want more space or independence, but don’t panic. It’ll be even more beautiful when you reunite.

So, don’t buy into the marriage myth that if the flames aren’t burning, divorce is in view. It only takes a moment to relight the fire. Continue loving and respecting each other’s differences. That’s what makes marriage work.

Final Word

Marriage can be a wonderful estate if we dispel the marriage myths and focus on being the best partner possible for our spouse. When you treat each other respectfully, your love will grow deeper and deeper. So kick the mind-reading and make-up myths to the curb. You don’t have to share the same interests, be together all the time, or feel close each moment.

Marriages may be made in heaven, but they’re lived on earth. Believing in myths and social media relationships won’t help your marriage. It’ll only lead to an untimely end. Embrace your differences and walk in love. This keeps marriages strong and divorce off the table for good.