Do you have friends with whom you could easily say you’ve known all your life even though you just met them? This process, known as “instant friendship,” fascinates many people. Several of the relationships established in these encounters can last a lifetime. However, what drives this instant connection? It is crucial to look into the psychological and physiological factors that lead to such wonderful occurrences, which are the foundational processes of social bonding between two total strangers.
THE POWER OF SHARED EXPERIENCES
This is possibly the single biggest reason why you can form instant friendships with a person. If and when people encounter similar scenarios, such as attending a concert, taking a workshop, or trying to come up with a solution to a problem they encounter, they form a basis of mutual understanding. These statistics help facilitate an understanding of each other. They bring out feelings of empathy and compassion, which help build the foundation for a friendship.
Studies show that everyday experiences lead to the secretion of oxytocin, also known as the bonding hormone. This chemical is related to our social attachment and may create feelings of trust and safety. If two individuals share a meaningful conversation, then the reward centers in the brain produce a satisfaction signal within them. This positivity can lead to a complacent comfortability that instantly cultivates friendship.
THE ROLE OF VULNERABILITY
Vulnerability is another critical factor in achieving bond development. When people expose their state of mind, they make it easier to believe in one another. Telling people some of their experiences or battles also draws a common response from people, prompting the individual to tell more about themselves. Being vulnerable can be difficult for some, but most would be surprised by how it benefits their relationships going forward.
Brené Brown, a psychology professor at the University of Houston in Texas, has found that connection is the most powerful and the only valid currency we have. Her studies show that building a climate where people can be themselves and share who they are creates a real connection. Friendship will progress exponentially when two people are willing to take that risk.
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Many aspects of communication are non-verbal and a major element in forming rapid friendships. Posture, gesture, and eye contact can say ‘I care’ even if voice and speech are yet to follow. Specifically, awareness has been found to occur when two people mimic each other’s gestures and body language, which sends an unspoken message that the two are synchronized.
It was also found that nonverbal attraction exists whereby people are naturally attracted to people with similar nonverbal affection. When people start automatically and involuntarily mirror each other, the relationship between the two grows closer, and they feel they are part of a team. This sort of synchronizing to other nonverbal signals may occur rapidly, thus promoting the formation of instant friendships.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SIMILARITY
The fourth characteristic of instant friendships is similarity. We are naturally drawn to those with similar values, interests, and beliefs. This creates a sense of belonging, which helps with instant friendships. People are more likely to like each other, and conversations will be more pleasant. Having things in common with someone is essential to cultivating any bond, romantic or platonic.
Research shows that people are likely to be friends with those with the same personality traits or preferences. We all want to be with someone who shares similar interests. It’s hard to consider yourself a gamer and be friends with or date people who would rather stay away from video games altogether. The common interests play the role of spark, allowing people to build close relationships quickly and become close friends or even companions for life.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The science behind instant friendships shows that a mix of psychological and physiological factors is important. This could be anything between shared experiences and vulnerability to nonverbal communication. The next time you’ve got that chemistry right from the get-go, just remember there’s a science to back the notion that there may be a soul out there for all of us, platonic or romantic.
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