Difficult conversations with loved ones might involve money, plans, lifestyle choices, and other difficulties. These discussions can also be related to typical family issues or unfulfilled wishes. While these talks might be uncomfortable, they are critical for issue resolution. Difficult conversations may lead to hate and rage, therefore it’s mostly best to speak them out. Ignoring the difficulties will not make them go away, but facing them head-on can help to clear the air.
Plan Your Conversation in Advance
Try to plan your difficult conversation ahead of time. Ask that person if they are available to chat at a specific time. This allows you to plan what you have to say ahead of time. If necessary, write down what you intend to say! There is no shame in using a note card or piece of paper to calm yourself down during a talk. Before the conversation, do a self-grounding and self-focusing exercise. This can be done via deep breathing exercises, peaceful meditation, listening to motivational music, or vocalizing affirmations. It makes you feel more in control and less anxious.
Ground Yourself Before the Talk
Difficult conversations can become hot when individuals are emotional, upset, angry, or confused. It is important to prioritize self-care. It’s fine to take a break to allow everyone to calm down. Agree to meet again later if there is anything else to have a difficult conversation about. Take benefit of this opportunity to unwind and relax. Take a stroll, meditate, or chat with someone who makes you happy. You might also speak with someone who has likely gone through the same situation, such as a coworker.
Use “I” Statements in Difficult Conversations
When focusing on another individual or party, use statement language to reduce the chances of the other party becoming defensive. For instance, saying, ‘You didn’t take out the trash last night, which you know I hate!’ is very different from saying, ‘I felt an extra burden yesterday after the long day I had when I came home and the trash wasn’t taken out.’ When you use a strong statement to explain the impact something had, the other party cannot reasonably argue with that because it is your feelings, not theirs.
Agreeing to Disagree
If near the end of the talk, you still do not see eye to eye, you may always reveal your disagreement. Nobody is the same, and life is difficult. Reaching a halfway ground is the aim. Not every conversation will end happily. You won’t be able to connect through to some people, and that’s okay. It’s not a sign of agreement to disagree if you share the same point of view. By selecting which battles to participate in, you are only defending yourself.
Final Thoughts
Difficult conversations sometimes include expressing emotions, concerns, or limits, which, if not addressed, can lead to misunderstandings and anger. Addressing these challenges straight on promotes transparency, which in turn increases confidence. Try to manage difficult conversations gracefully, pause when necessary, and show trust in the other side. Because trust is the basis of any good connection, making both sides feel safe and respected.
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