How to Support a Newly Single Friend
If a close friend suddenly becomes single again via a nasty breakup, this is literally the s*** hitting the fan. It is a very confusing time, full of different kinds of feelings. It is a sad time, even if the breakup was a long time coming or unexpected. Being single again is overwhelming, and the support of a close circle of good friends can help them heal and move on healthily. Here are some ways you can show up for them and make this time a little less traumatizing than it is.
1.) Be Present and Listen Without Judgment
Be present. They will appreciate it. Some of the symptoms of breakups are replaying events, second-guessing their decisions, and feeling unworthy. They mostly need a listening ear. Allow them to vent so they can get the whole thing out of their system. Let them retell the stories and do not try to fix anything or fix them. Allow them to feel all of the emotions. You are present to be a safe space. Someone who understands and will not judge them. Affirm them. Reassure them that you are here for them.
2.) Avoid Criticizing Their Ex Excessively
Do not help them nitpick the ex. It won’t make them feel better. Validate their emotions and avoid criticizing anything. They may still love their ex. Remember that they are having many different complicated emotions. They can go from relief to anger, and then sadness. They can even harbour feelings of possible reconciliation. Focus on your friend’s feelings and leave all the negativity alone. Do not tear anyone down.
3.) Help Them Rediscover Themselves
If they were dating for a long time, your friend might feel lost. Encourage them to reinvent themselves. Suggest old hobbies or start new things they can learn to like. Suggest fitness habits, creative pursuits, and new countries they can travel to. Invite them out all the time, but do not apply pressure. Coffee dates or walks in the park help them know that they have a strong circle of friends backing them.
4.) Respect Their Healing Timeline
Don’t rush the healing process. Sometimes they will chatter endlessly, or they may withdraw emotionally. Some start dating, and others may avoid dating at all. Do not pressure them. Healing has different timelines for different people. Honour their healing process.
5.) Check In Regularly
Support does not mean just one conversation. The hardest moments of a healing process are the lonely weekends or being alone on a Friday. Send messages often to let them know you care. Ask them how they are doing and invite them out often. Be consistent so they do not feel the absence of their ex too badly.
6.) Encourage Healthy Habits
Help them develop and keep up with healthy habits. A bad breakup may sometimes disrupt sleep, appetite, or cause depression and loss of desire for work. Encourage habits that can help your friend recover, such as exercising, eating balanced meals, and spending time in the outdoors. You can also suggest therapy. Avoid lecturing and just invite them out.
7.) Celebrate Their Strength
Reframe the breakup experience. Being single is not a mark of failure. It is an opportunity to grow. Compliment their strengths, accomplishments, and qualities that would make them a great partner for someone amazing in the future. They may lose their confidence, and encouragement from close friends can help remind them of how amazing they are.
Supporting Your Friend
You do not need perfect words to encourage a newly single friend. All you need is empathy, patience, and consistency. When they are adjusting to their new single state, the presence of a trusted friend is a great source of comfort. Breakups hurt, but are also an opportunity to reflect and figure out what they want, and the lessons learned. The support of a loyal friend makes healing less lonely. You give them hope and courage for a fulfilling and authentic relationship in the near future.
