There’s quite a bit of talk about toxic relationships nowadays, perhaps from increased awareness. What exactly makes a toxic relationship? A relationship with another person that negatively affects one’s mental, physical, or emotional health. The warning signs can be complex, but they are basically about controlling another person and lacking trust or support. Art can often imitate life, and Hollywood has models of these relationships. Let’s take a closer look at these examples:
Twilight
Apologies if you’re a Twilight fan, but all the red flags are there; it’s toxic. For starters, it glamorizes stalking behavior. The recurring themes throughout the series are codependency and power imbalances. Manipulation is also a factor; at one point in the series, Edward tries to detach from Bella, who then tries to jump to her death in suicidal despair. For most of the series, Bella ignores her survival instinct to stay with Edward, knowing he can kill her.
The Notebook
The book and novel are critically acclaimed as one of the most romantic stories ever. Considering the length of the relationship, it looks sweet on the surface. However, when scrutinizing the details, you can see how this was a toxic relationship. Noah relentlessly badgers Allie for a date and even threatens to jump off a Ferris wheel until she says yes. There are explosive arguments, manipulation, love-bombing, and control.
A Star is Born
This toxic relationship has it all: codependency, substance abuse, jealousy, manipulation, narcissism, and verbal and emotional abuse. Ally is continually supporting her partner, Jackson, who is embroiled in substance abuse. While Ally works hard to make it big in the entertainment industry, Jackson sabotages her efforts out of jealousy. Ally puts up with it, almost to the point of her own undoing.
She’s All That
Imagine changing everything about yourself so a person will like you. This isn’t a healthy message for a movie geared toward teens, but this is the synopsis of She’s All That. A popular high school boy is distraught when his cheerleader girlfriend dumps him for a reality show star; he bets with his friends that he can make any girl in school “hot.” He chooses a nerdy outcast and convinces a friend to give her a makeover.
50 Shades of Grey
This one can be polarizing because many people say Anastasia had a choice. The fact remains that there was a massive power imbalance. Christian Grey was her billionaire boss, so he was in a perfect position to coerce, control, manipulate, and basically “own” Anastasia’s body through a contract. Even after Grey falls in love with her, he is possessive of Anastasia. This oozes toxicity like sludge.
Grease
As much as this is a beloved musical, Sandy and Danny’s relationship isn’t healthy. Sandy has to reinvent herself to get Danny’s friends’ approval. Otherwise, he was embarrassed to be seen with her. There is a serious red flag when Danny ignores Sandy when he attempts to get sexual with her in his car without her consent. That scene certainly did not age well at all.
(500) Days of Summer
In this movie, we follow Tom and Summer. While Summer sees the relationship as more of a fling than an actual relationship, Tom still hopes for an emotional connection. Ultimately, Tom hurts himself because he has never communicated his true feelings to Summer. He projected his frustrations on Summer for not getting his way. This was a rom-com movie, so it was lighthearted, but one can see how a situation can go downhill without clear communication.
Final Thoughts About Toxic Relationships
You may have heard the term gaslighting, which comes directly from a movie called Gaslight. In this movie, a woman is tricked into questioning reality by her own husband, a classic manipulation tactic. While these movies are fiction, they illustrate how enmeshed our culture is with the world of cinema and how movies can be good reflections of human interactions.
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