Best store bought eggnog for your holiday celebrations.
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The Best Store-Bought Eggnog Ranked

ByBecky Cross

The holidays roll in, and suddenly every grocery store shelf is stacked with cartons of eggnog. Some are thick enough to stand a spoon in, others taste like melted ice cream, and a few… well, let’s just say they should’ve stayed in the dairy aisle’s “experimental” section. We lined up the usual suspects and gave them a sip test. Here’s how they stack up.

Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice

This one’s smooth, with a big vanilla kick and just enough nutmeg to remind you it’s December. It’s also the kind of nog that practically begs for a splash of actual Southern Comfort. Drink it straight and it’s fine, mix it and suddenly you’re the life of the party.

Organic Valley

Rich, custardy, and made with organic milk that tastes like it came from cows who listen to jazz. It’s heavy, but in a good way — like dessert in a glass. If you want “real deal” nog without mystery ingredients, this is the one.

Private Selection Old Fashioned

This one is Kroger’s fancy carton. It’s spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, and even a whisper of ginger. Some folks swear they taste a hint of whiskey flavor too. It’s indulgent, thick, and makes you wonder if you should just skip dinner and drink this instead.

Trader Joe’s

Trader Joe’s keeps it simple. It’s lighter than some of the others but still has that nostalgic holiday vibe. Affordable, easy to find, and the kind of nog you can pour without feeling guilty about calories… until you realize you’ve finished half the carton.

Turkey Hill

This one is old-school. Thick, sweet, and unapologetically dairy-heavy. It’s the nog your grandparents probably bought, and it still holds up. If you like your eggnog to feel like a milkshake with a holiday sweater, Turkey Hill delivers.

Lucerne Holiday (Vanilla Cinnamon)

Budget-friendly and easy to grab at Safeway. It’s lighter, with a cinnamon twist that makes it taste like someone stirred a cookie into the glass. Not the fanciest, but it gets the job done when you just want nog without the drama.

Kemps Golden

Smooth, sweet, and golden colored like it’s trying to win a beauty contest. It’s a Midwest favorite, and people swear by it. If you want a nog that’s consistent every year, Kemps is your safe bet.

What Makes a Good Eggnog Anyway?

  • Spice balance: Nutmeg and cinnamon should be there but not like they fell in by accident.
  • Texture: Creamy is good. Cement mixer thick? Not so much.
  • Versatility: Should taste good solo but also hold up when you add rum or brandy.
  • Nostalgia factor: Sometimes the “best” nog is just the one you grew up with.

Good to the Last Glop

Eggnog is less about finding perfection and more about finding the carton that makes you smile. If you want indulgence, grab Organic Valley or Private Selection. If you’re mixing cocktails, Southern Comfort’s Vanilla Spice Eggnog is basically built for it. And if you’re just trying to keep the holiday spirit alive without breaking the bank, Trader Joe’s or Lucerne will do the trick.

At the end of the day, it’s eggnog. It’s thick, it’s sweet, and it’s seasonal. Drink it, laugh about it, and remember, no one has ever looked cool with a ‘nog mustache.

Becky writes from the red dirt crossroads of folk tradition and modern life. She’s a beekeeper, an archivist of handed-down remedies, and a self-proclaimed floral archeologist. Her work brings a grounded voice to astrology, wanderlust to travel, and celebrations with soul. She honors seasonal rhythms, old ways, and the everyday rituals that keep us rooted.

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