Ashley Tisdale Responds to Toxic Mom Group Rumors About Hilary Duff and Mandy Moore

We’ve all heard the old adage: “It takes a village to raise a child.” But what happens when that village starts to feel a little less like a support system and a lot more like a high school cafeteria? That is the question swirling around the internet this week after actress and entrepreneur Ashley Tisdale penned a vulnerable, viral essay about leaving her “village” behind.

The piece, titled “Breaking Up With My Toxic Mom Group,” has sparked a massive conversation online—not just about celebrity gossip, but about the very real, very painful dynamics of adult female friendship. If you have ever felt the sting of exclusion or the pressure to fit into a mold just to have playdates for your kids, Ashley’s story likely hits close to home. Here is a look at what went down, and why it resonates with so many of us.

The Essay That Started It All

Tisdale ignited the conversation when she republished a personal essay in “The Cut” (originally from her blog) detailing her decision to walk away from a group of friends she once considered her lifeline. She described the early days of the friendship as a relief, finding other women who were pregnant during the pandemic, finally having people who understood the sleepless nights and the isolation. It felt, she wrote, like she had found her people.

But as time went on, the dynamic shifted. In an article from People, Tisdale described a creeping sense of unease, noting that she began to notice “mean-girl behavior.” She wrote about the sinking feeling of realizing you’ve been left off a group text chain, or the specific heartbreak of opening Instagram to see your entire friend group hanging out at a party you weren’t invited to.

“Even though it had been decades since 10th grade,” she wrote, “the experience of being left out felt so similar.”

For many mothers, this is a familiar ache. We cling to these groups because motherhood can be lonely, and the fear of having no one often keeps us in circles that don’t actually make us feel good.

Understanding Toxic Mom Behavior

While Tisdale didn’t name names, internet sleuths quickly went to work, pointing fingers at her mom group, a high-profile circle of friends that includes Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, and food influencer Gaby Dalkin. But regardless of who it was, the what is more important.

Toxic mom behavior isn’t always overt bullying. Sometimes, as Tisdale described, it’s a misalignment of values. It’s the subtle cliques forming within the larger group. It’s the gossip about others who aren’t in the room. It is the feeling that you have to perform or be a certain type of parent to be accepted.

Sources close to the situation said that the split came down to this values clash, noting that friends naturally drift apart. However, when feelings are hurt, and exclusion happens publicly on social media, “drifting apart” can feel aggressive.

The Public Fallout and Protective Husbands

The situation escalated from a quiet friend-breakup to a public spectacle when Duff’s husband, Matthew Koma, weighed in. Koma, known for his dry and often trolling sense of humor online, took to Instagram to mock the essay, posting a parody headline that called Tisdale “tone deaf” and “self-obsessed.”

Moore seemingly sided with Koma and Duff, reposting a video of him and praising him as one of the “most talented and generous humans.”

This reaction highlights another messy layer of friend breakups: the ripple effect. When a friendship ends, it rarely ends in a vacuum. Spouses get involved, other friends pick sides, and suddenly, a personal decision to set a boundary becomes a public battleground. For Tisdale, speaking her truth meant facing a wave of defensive backlash.

Is It Okay to Walk Away?

The biggest takeaway from the Tisdale drama isn’t about which celebrity was mean to whom. It is about permission.

As moms, we are often taught to be peacemakers. We are told to suck it up for the sake of the kids, to keep the playgroup intact, to not rock the boat. But Tisdale’s essay serves as a powerful reminder: You are allowed to leave.

If a group leaves you feeling drained, judged, or anxious, it is not serving you. Friendship should be a safe harbor, not another source of stress in an already overwhelming life. As Tisdale put it beautifully in her piece, choosing to step away doesn’t make you mean. It makes you honest.

So, take a look at your circle. Do they lift you up? Do they share your values? Or are you holding onto them out of fear of being alone? It might be time to find a new village. One where you are invited to the party, not just watching it on Instagram.