Cynthia Erivo Opens Up About Family Estrangement and Manager Scared Off by Blackout Rage
In her powerful and moving new memoir, “Simply More,” Cynthia Erivo shines a light on a life marked by both extraordinary success and profound personal struggle. The “Wicked” star, who is known for her incredible voice and commanding presence, gets real about the deep-seated pain that has shaped her, including a shocking estrangement from her father and the twisting, often difficult, road to embracing her own identity.
Cynthia Erivo on Her Father’s Devastating Abandonment
One of the most sad and heart-wrenching revelations in Cynthia Erivo’s book is the story of her father leaving her. It was a sudden, traumatic break. She vividly recalls the exact moment: at just 16 years old, she was left alone in a London underground tube station after a very heated argument over a transit pass. Imagine being a teenager, in the middle of a huge, bustling city, and the person who is supposed to be your protector just walks away. They haven’t spoken since.
Erivo is devastatingly honest about the aftermath of that day. She spent years grappling with the feeling that she wasn’t enough, desperately trying to prove her worth to a man who was no longer there.
In a recent “WeCanDoHardThings” podcast appearance, she clarified that her father was never a constant presence, but he did provide for her travel to school. When he decided to stop, it triggered a confrontation that ended with him saying, “I don’t want to see you again.”
The pain was immediate and disorienting. She recalls being so dazed and in tears that she got on a train going in the wrong direction. When she turned around, she saw him walking toward her, only for him to pass by “like he’s never met me before.”
It’s a moment of casual cruelty that’s hard to fathom, and Erivo admits it left her with deep emotional scars, making it difficult to trust that people wouldn’t eventually leave. Through therapy, she has worked to heal, but the weight of that horrible memory underscores the resilience she’s had to build.
Navigating Queerness and Family Expectations
While the relationship with her father is a story of a bond severed, Cynthia Erivo’s journey with her mother and sister is one of a bond being tested and reshaped. She writes with immense compassion about coming to terms with her queerness and sharing that truth with her family. Erivo, who is currently in a relationship with actress and producer Lena Waithe, didn’t date a woman until her late twenties, having spent her teen years pushing her feelings back down after an unrequited crush.
Coming out was not a simple, one-time announcement. It was, and still is, an ongoing conversation. She talks about her family’s journey to acceptance as “a territory we’re still navigating.” Erivo approaches her mother’s struggle with much empathy, recognizing that her mom is working to reconcile the life she envisioned for her daughter versus the reality of who she is.
It serves as a thoughtful reminder that coming out often affects the entire family, and sometimes, love requires patience and a willingness to let go of expectations. With her sister, she admits it took longer, but the two have recently “come over a bit of a hump, finding our way toward each other.”
Owning Her Power, Even When It’s “Too Much”
Cynthia Erivo’s memoir, subtitled “A Book for Anyone Who’s Been Told They’re Simply Too Much,” is a testament to her refusal to shrink herself for others. She recounts an incident years ago where she “blacked out with rage” at a manager who brought strangers to her rehearsal at the Greek Theatre in LA. It was a moment that scared even herself. Friends helped calm her down, and the manager ultimately quit. But instead of seeing it as a flaw, she reclaims it as a part of her true self.
Cynthia Erivo is a total powerhouse, and that comes with a powerful emotional range. She acknowledges that being her full, unfiltered self can be taxing, but it’s ultimately “the most rewarding way to live.” Through her pain, her joy, and her art, Cynthia Erivo sends a clear message: never apologize for taking up space.
Her memoir isn’t just a celebrity tell-all; it’s a vulnerable, emotionally charged story about finding strength in the face of abandonment and learning to love every part of who you are, even – and especially the parts you’ve been told are “too much.”
