Couples Are Now Talking About Soft Swinging and What It Really Means

It seems like every other day there’s a new TikTok trend ready to send the internet into a complete meltdown. One minute it’s a bizarre dance, the next it’s a “challenge” that probably shouldn’t be a challenge. But every so often, a term bubbles up from the digital chaos that makes everyone stop scrolling and ask, “Wait, what?” Enter soft swinging, the relationship dynamic that took over #MomTok and left a trail of suburban drama in its wake.

So, what is this new flavor of modern relationship that has everyone, from your nosy neighbor to Mormon influencers, talking? Let’s dive in, shall we?

What on Earth is Soft Swinging?

Alright, let’s cut through the noise. Soft swinging is basically the “just the tip” of consensual non-monogamy. Think of it as swinging with the training wheels on. Couples who are into soft swinging agree to engage in intimate, often sexual, activities with other people, but they draw a hard line before full-on intercourse.

There’s no universally agreed-upon dictionary definition here, which is part of the fun. It’s a flexible concept. For some, it might mean making out with another couple at a party. For others, it could involve everything but penetrative sex. The key takeaway is that it’s a form of ethical non-monogamy where the primary couple sets specific boundaries to explore their curiosities without, you know, “going all the way.” It’s like ordering the appetizer sampler instead of committing to a full entree you’re not sure you’ll like.

Why Did This Suddenly Explode Online?

You can thank (or blame) the #MomTok scandal for shoving soft swinging into the cultural spotlight. Utah influencer Taylor Frankie Paul blew up the internet when she revealed her involvement in a soft swinging group within her circle of fellow Mormon moms. The ensuing drama, involving alleged affairs and broken agreements, was juicier than a daytime soap opera.

This scandal did more than just provide endless gossip. It peeled back the curtain on a phenomenon brewing beneath the surface of seemingly traditional communities. Suddenly, people realized that even in picture-perfect suburbia, modern relationships are getting a lot more complex. It sparked a massive conversation about desire, boundaries, and what it means to be monogamous in the 21st century.

Is This Actually Good for a Relationship?

Now for the million-dollar question: Is dipping your toes into the swinging lifestyle actually a good idea? The answer is a classic “it depends.” For some couples, soft swinging can be a way to spice things up and inject a dose of excitement into a long-term partnership. It allows them to explore fantasies and connect on a new level of honesty and communication—because, trust me, you can’t do this without talking. A lot.

It can be a way to say, “Hey, I’m attracted to other people, you’re attracted to other people, and that’s okay. Let’s figure out a way to explore that together.” When done right, with clear rules and consent, it can strengthen the primary bond.

However, let’s not be naive. This is relationship-ing on hard mode. If your communication is already shaky, or if one partner is just going along to avoid a breakup, soft swinging is a one-way ticket to Disasterville. Jealousy is a very real thing, and if you can’t handle seeing your partner get cozy with someone else, this is not the game for you. It requires an incredible amount of trust, security, and emotional maturity from everyone involved.

Setting the Ground Rules for Modern Relationships

If you and your partner are genuinely curious about soft swinging, the first—and most critical—step is to establish some non-negotiable ground rules. This isn’t the time to be vague. You need to get uncomfortably specific.

• What’s In-Bounds? Define exactly what activities are okay. Kissing? Oral sex? Cuddling? Spell it out.
• What’s Off-Limits? Is penetrative sex the only no-go, or are there other boundaries? What about emotional connections?
• Who Is Fair Game? Strangers only? Mutual friends? Deciding this beforehand can prevent a world of awkwardness.
• What’s the Safe Word? Have a signal or a word you can use to immediately stop everything if you feel uncomfortable. No questions asked.

Soft swinging isn’t just a quirky TikTok trend; it’s a significant evolution in how people are approaching modern relationships. It challenges the old-school idea that monogamy is the only valid path and forces us to have more open conversations about desire and commitment. Whether it’s a recipe for disaster or a path to a more fulfilling partnership really depends on the couple brave—or foolish—enough to try it.